其实我并不喜欢别人问我的过去。每次解释，总无法避免提及，我曾经很辉煌的过去，曾经考入最好的政府高级中学，曾经全A+的成绩考入最好的政府大学，那是当年收分最高的专业，但因为父亲赌博，输掉了大量的钱，导致我无法完成学业。每次解释的时候总免不了要提及当年我被迫一边上学，一边打两份工；提及在最好的政府大学里，同学是多么的聪明，课程是多么的难。
但这种解释其实是很不健康的。它好像总是在把失败归咎于我的父亲，而把成就归结于我自己。只是每次被问及的时候，我并没有什么可选择。虽然我希望描述的只是当时的处境实在是很艰难，我也觉得很可惜。不过我尽力了，却无力回天。
听完我的解释，别人总是劝我不要恨我的父亲，这些事情过去这么多年了，我应该把它们逐渐的忘记。可是每次被问及的时候，我都不得不把过去的事情都复述一遍。
每次被问及，都使得过去更难被忘记........
我并不希望抱怨我的父亲，我心里也不是非常的恨他，并不像很多人听完我的描述后推断的那样。我很少真正的去恨一个人，如果一个人让我感到很难相处，那么我可能做的事情不是去和他吵，而是尽量的回避他。
这个世界这么大，有这么多人可以选择。何必非要去恨一个人，弄得自己不开心呢？
于我而言，我更希望的是总结，在当年的环境里，我有没有可能做的更好？有没有什么方法能保住我的学业？父亲和母亲的婚姻失败的原因是什么？在我寻找自己的终身伴侣的时候，有没有可能通过观察，找到一个可以信赖的爱人，避免一样的悲剧？只有这样的总结才能使我提高，才能发现自己的问题。
虽然我现在还没有想到什么办法，只总是把错误和失败归咎于我的父亲，却会使我永远的难以进步。
所以我不并大喜欢别人问太多关于我的过去，因为这个问题很难回答。我也暂时还想不出该如何健康的回答这个问题。
不过，我也并不恨问过我的人，因为像我们这样特殊的经历，你应该在生活中很少会遇到吧。我们的一些想法，你可能无法从以前的经验中了解到。
除了我们的过去，其实还有很多别的话题可以谈呀，比如
“你最喜欢的城市是哪个？为什么？”
“你最想去旅游的地方是哪里？为什么？”
“你最崇拜的人是谁？为什么？”
“今天的天气不错，想一起去打球么？”
“要不要一起去吃饭？”
希望有一天，我们能成为很好的朋友.......
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(English Translation revised by my friend Tiger Canon. Thanks a lot!)
''Be my friend, But please don't ask about my past.''
I joined a relationship management workshop last week. It was a good workshop hold by VUBC and I've learnt a lot.
One of the reasons I joined the seminar was because I am not good in communication especially questions that concern my past.
For example I don’t like to explain the reason I rejoined the university. It is almost inevitable that I need to lay the blame on my farther for failing to support me when I was enrolled by a top government university in
If you were in my position, you would find I could not forget easily because I am always being asked of my past. Each time, this has made me to live through what had happened.
On the contrary, I do not hate my father. If I don’t like someone, I will choose to avoid him. This world is so big, why make myself unhappy by hating someone all the time?
It is just hard to explain to others why I gave up the study at the university. The courses in top university were too difficult. My father had not just gambled his money away but also my life and my future. I was working 2 jobs concurrently just to survive meant preparing for the exams was near impossible.
All these reasonings were unhealthy, it seems I had attributed my failure to my father and I have taken all the credits for whatever success I may have. Regrettably, whenever the question is raised, I have no choice but to describe the circumstances at the time were tough. I do feel sorry but I had tried my best. It was beyond me.
......
Actually, I have been searching for a closure. I have been wondering if I could have done better. Is there anything else I could have done to secure my degree at that time? And why did my parents split up? By taken their lessons, will I be able to pick the right life long partner and avoid a similar failure? Only with these constant reminders, I am able to find myself and discover my true problems.
I have yet to discover the solution, but I aware that if I continue to blame my father, I will never be able to move forward.
This is why I am not really like others to ask about my past. There is no easy answer and for the time being, I do not know how to tell the truth by not hurting others. On the other hand, I do not hate others for asking me about my past, for the very reason that you probably have never encountered a person like me in your real life. Our differences in life experiences ensure that what ever the conclusion we may come to, it will never be the same.
So, besides my past, actually we have a lot of other topics to talk about, for example
“Which city do u mostly want to travel to? Why?”
“Which city do u like most? Why? ”
“Do you like KL? Why?”
“How you feel about
“Who do you mostly respect? why? ”
“Do you want to makan together?”
“It is a good weather today. Do u want to play tennis together?”
......
In hope, we shall be friend.......
(Thanks for reading my blog and trying to understand me )
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